I was about to explode!
As a 17 year old searching for the meaning of life - for God - looking for purpose in the adult life that peered around the corner of my future with a dastardly grin, I needed a release for all the questions and emotions and doubts and fears that were building up within.
I had just stepped out of our farmhouse and began my routine journey of 100 steps to our barn. It was a beautiful Spring night! The air was the perfect temperature. The stars were out and bright!
As I crossed the sidewalk out onto the gravel drive before me, I drew a breath that would forever brand itself on my memory. For in that very moment, the air I drew in also seemed to be the very breath of God, laiden with a gift to write. I stopped in my tracks.
Suddenly, I could do nothing but write. Literally! I turned and ran back into the house where I took out my notebook and a pen and began pouring out my heart to God.
For the next two years I would write an average of three to four poems and short stories per day. Writing and faith merged as pen to paper became my prayer life. Truly, writing became my life!
Somewhere over the years, my motivation for writing became tarnished with ill motives and the need for approval from others. It lost its meaning. I have tried lifting my scribe’s head up off the floor many times only to have the slurs of doubt and self-hate press their feet on the throat of my writing voice. That is, until roughly four weeks ago.
Almost as a slight breeze blowing across the embers of a fading fire, the hope*writers seven day writing challenge came across my Facebook feed, reviving the flames of what once burned bright and clear almost 40 years ago.
I took the challenge with moderate success. (Though I've already learned there is a difference between writing and publishing, so I guess I succeeded in writing for seven days, just not publishing to IG.). Then I listened to a live event with co-founer Emily Freeman.
That night I asked Katie how she felt about me signing up for the monthly membership. With the budget being tight, my expectancy level was lying on the ground. But she said, "We can do that." Her affirmation was HUGE! I wasted no time in becoming a member of the hope*writers community that night!
After years of failure laughing in the face of my hope to write again - to publish! - I was back on track! I AM back on track!!!
Where would you like to get back on track? Is there a gift you would like to see resurrected?
Feel free to comment below or email me at: eppik5@gmail.com
