In Death, Life Prevails

I've stood on this precipice before. We both have.

In the midst of our infertility pain and failed adoptions, I suddenly found myself entertaining what it must be like to die and not know God.  The darkness was heavy that night. It pinned me down mercilessly as I doubted my salvation.

I had heard and have taught that one way we know whether God is speaking or not is to listen to the nature of the voice. Is it hopeful or is it condemning?

Spiralling down the staircase of introspection, entertaining that perhaps our salvation was not authentic, is both dangerous and misguided. Salvation happened long before I believed. Jesus paid the price once and for all. It is finished!

But something came alive in me and continued to grow - it grows still! - the day I first believed. This new life of surrender emerges out of and away from self, into the spaces that are Christ and His life within me.  

So this trip to the cellar of the soul, with condemnation’s despair and terror pretending to light the way, well...you and I don’t need that! For right there amidst all those heavy, suffocating words, firm and steadfast like a boulder in the sea, is the Voice of Truth. These words correct and give life; they affirm and propel us forward, encouraging steps ahead.

I need you more than breath itself, Father... God. For my own heart condemns me, stands over me with pointing-finger judgement and unforgiving ‘tude.  Then it pumps me up with self-induced hope and flimsy positivity as it pushes me out through the curtain onto the stage of public opinion where arrogance and inferiority await as a supporting cast. 

Arrogance and Inferiority, you are NOT my friends! 

Truth, clothed in Humility and Compassion, take my hand as you embrace correction and dive deep into the pool of Empowering Grace. 

Lead on, You who have become my Will and Power to do all that You desire. Lead me through wind and wave, past and beyond my human pride.

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me...You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies...Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” - psalm 23:5-6

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there...even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,' even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” - psalm 139:7-12

You are Good, oh God my Father!

Already there in 

life’s

     darkest

          hole.

Love prevailing, table set,

The richest fare in the enemy’s lair.

While despair is real and sure as fire,

Even there 

Your

     Life 

         prevails;

Death’s a liar.

Higher, wider, deeper still,

Over ALL is 

Your 

     Good 

Will!

Where have you seen Life prevail over death in your heart?

If you wish to share your story, I welcome your comment below or you can email me at: eppik5@gmail.com. I hope that you have been encouraged in your reading!